When I was three years old, my father stabbed my mother, Vilasini, sixteen times. She ran away,abandoning her three children. She did not return even when her eldest daughter died. I was five years old then. I don’t remember my mother’s face. And I hate my father. Everybody knows he is a thief. But that is not why I hate him. He made me grow up without my mother. And it is very painful to grow up without a mother.

My father, Kocherukkan, married another woman, Ammini. They have two children. Me and my brother are very close with them. We were raised by our grandmother—Kalyani, Kocherukkan’s mother. I was not a good student, but I was really good in sports and athletics. Once I was selected to compete at sub district level. But I did not have a pair of chappals. When I asked my father to buy one, he took my hand and placed it on a grinding stone, and then crushed it with the roller stone.

I studied only till seven standard. Then I ran away to Coimbatore, and worked in a cotton mill. I bought an ear ring for my stepsister when I came back. Then I started working in a pineapple farm. I fell in love with Aswathy and married her. We built a small house near her home. We have three children, Adithiya, Arjun, Kingini. I work as daily wage labourer these days.

I have a reputation for being a small-time criminal. May be I inherited it from my father. I have been in police custody several times. Two months ago, I was drinking with my father-in-law and we had one of our usual drunken fights. He ran to a neighbour’s house. There he had a heart attack and died. I was taken by the police. They kept me in custody for three months.

Recently I got five cents of land and a home loan from the government. I’m building a new house now. I had never thought of bringing my mother back home. But two weeks ago, I heard that she lives in a Christian convent in Kothamangalam. I went there, but could not meet her. I wish I could bring her to my new home.

Taken from Pannoor, From the series "HOME"